Tantus Amsterdam Small – Sex Toy Review
I recently received a box of toys from Tantus. It was literally the most squeal worthy box of goodies imaginable! They sent me a Flurry O2, a Severin Small, a Nurse Connoisseur Harness, and the star of today’s review the Amsterdam Small. My vagina is a little excited just typing all that out… I may need a moment or two to cool down… whew.
The Amsterdam caught my attention the moment I saw it. I love unique and unusual sex toys, if its at all just a little bit different from your average dildo, I’ve simply got to have it. When you first see the Amsterdam, it doesn’t really look like a dildo at all. In fact, its not really supposed to look like a dildo at all, it is a tiny little replica of an Amsterdammertje – a traffic bollard used to separate the sidewalk from the street in Amsterdam.
So, what I want to believe happened is that the Tantus crew were all having a wild night in the city of Amsterdam and while stumbling down the streets after a particularly great night, someone notices the somewhat phallic bollard and loudly proclaimed “I would like to have sex with that!” So of course, they rushed home and created a perfect silicone version of the Amsterdammertje.
I really, really want this story to be true…
Anyways, the Amsterdam, it is a 100% super soft ultra-premium, made from Tantus’ own unique formula silicone dildo. And when they say “super soft,” they aren’t kidding. This toy is like molesting a friggin’ cloud. The silicone is very soft, plush, and dare I even say – luxurious. There is a lot of give to this toy, its bendy and squishy, but with still enough firmness to it that it maintains its shape and stands upright on its own.
The Amsterdam’s base is solid, so it will not work bullet vibes or insertable suction cups and there is no suction cup of its own (sad face) However, the base is compatible with with a harness, and slipped quite easily into the Nurse Connoisseur Harness Tantus sent along. The base is also flared, making it a totally appropriate toy for some sweet, sweet anal action. Personally, I’ve been a little sheepish about using this one anally, because of the textural features, which I will go over shortly.
Now, lets talk about size. The Amsterdam comes in two sizes. There is the hugely ridiculous ‘large sized’ Amsterdam, which measures almost a foot in height (10.5 inches to be exact.) and 2.6 inches across. It could almost be its own standard of measurement, “How tall am I? Oh about 6 and a half Tantus’ Amsterdams tall.” My vagina is sweating bullets just thinking about this. (Also… I kind of want this toy in my life…)
If the large is too much for you, thankfully, the Amsterdam also comes in the far more manageable Amsterdam Small, which measures in at 6 inches tall and with a width of 2 1/2 inches. This is a perfectly delightful size! Comfortable, slides in easy and with little effort, doesn’t bump up against my cervix, a great size if mega size is not your thing! I would compare this about to your average (or maybe slightly above average) male penis size. The straight shaft of the Amsterdam also has a uniform circumference, with now narrowing or swelling at any point, which may bore some users who like dildos that gradually swell and cause a filling/stretching feeling.
The shaft of the Amsterdam is very smooth, with the exception of three X’s near the head – these X’s traditionally represent three Saint Andrew’s Crosses from the coat of arms of Amsterdam, but on the Tantus Amsterdam, I think of them more as a little naughty triple XXX action. Circling the tip of the dildo there is a raised ridge, which is also fairly pronounced, like the crosses. When I first saw pictures of the Amsterdam, the crosses concerned me. How would they feel? Would they be rough and ridged? Would they hurt? I couldn’t wait to physically have the toy in my hands to answer this questions. While the edges of the crosses and raised ridge around the tip do have very defined and sharp edges, the softer silicone of the toy does do a lot to help soften the texture. Which made it a lot less abrasive then I thought it would be. After extended use the crosses did start to become irritating, not painfully so, but enough to distract me from my masturbatory enjoyment. It was kind of a scratchy, tickling sensation that started to feel like I was being rubbed a little raw. So, my advice to you is to rotate often! I found that if I changed the toys orientation frequently, I could avoid the overall irritation and keep the toy in play longer. As I mentioned above, I have not yet tried this toy anally. While I think the ridge around the tip would feel good and give a nice ‘pop’ I am nervous about the crosses, my butt puckers at the thought. I’m such an anal wuss.
I really love the material quality of the Amsterdam, although, it is a lint magnet… but that’s just the nature of silicone for you, just something you get to live with. But silicon is easy to clean, just throw it in the dishwasher, boil it, wipe it down with some toy cleaner or use a 10% bleach solution, or be lazy like me and go with regular old hot soapy water.
The Amsterdam also gets an A+ for its overall aesthetics. I love the way this toy looks, it is visually appealing and I totally think you could just display this toy on your fireplace mantel and if anyone asks about it, you just tell them its a souvenir from your latest vacation, and start rambling on about your trip to Amsterdam and your immense love of traffic bollards. No one will suspect a thing.
So, the big question, would I recommend this toy? Yes, yes I would! But, be weary about the texture, it could be too defined, bothersome, or intense for some people. The length and girth are great for ‘casual’ play, no real need to warm up for vaginal use, I was able to just lube it up and go (which is something I totally like, I have very little patience sometimes.)!
The Amsterdam Small can be purchased directly from Tantus!
The Tantus Amsterdam Small was provided to me free of charge by Tantus in exchange for my honest review.