Satisfyer Pro Penguin – Sex Toy Review
I’m almost positive that every sex toy review you read for the Satisfyer Pro Penguin is going to begin with “It looks like Birdo, from the Mario Brothers’ franchise.” Because, you know, it does. It really does look like you are masturbating with Birdo, which gives the old school gamer in me some very sick thrills. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THIS.
The Satisfyer Pro Penguin was sent to me by the cool folks at Peepshow Toys. If you are not already familiar with Peepshow Toys you should really check them out, they carry a curated selection of some really great body-safe toys. (P.S. you can get 10% off any Peepshow order by using the coupon code KITTEN at checkout. Don’t say I never gave you anything.)
Like the Womanizer, the Satisfyer line of toys uses the non-vibrating, air-pulsation technology to bring the user to orgasm. It does seem like the Satisfyer went right ahead and pulled a copycat on the Womanizer, both toys feature a circular, silicone head that is designed to fit directly over the clitoris and perform a ‘sucking’ motion. I’m not a huge fan of toy companies who blatantly rip-off another companies design, and I hate to say it, but I do think that Satisfyer did manage to do a few things better – namely the design, the name (although why the stupid spelling?), the price and the fact that they made it waterproof. In the end, I think it will just end up being a Coke vs Pepsi sort of a fight, you are going to find people who only like one while being vehemently opposed to the other, with a few of us in the middle going, “whatever, I’ll take whats available.” And then there will be that weird person who asks for an RC Cola.
But, I want to review the Satisfyer Pro Penguin on its own merit and try not to spend too much time comparing it to the Womanizer, even though the similarities are many.
So, I was a little bit hesitant when I selected the Satisfyer Pro Penguin for review, there was such a learning curve for me when it came to the Womanizer, I was afraid I would have trouble with the Satisfyer. Now, I don’t know if it’s just because I was already familiar with the idea of how this was supposed to work and where to place it, or if the Satisfyer Pro Penguin is really that much easier to use… but as soon as I had this toy out of the box, I think I had an orgasm within minutes of turning it on. It was AMAZING.
In comparison, I think the Womanizer feels weak (I know, I know, I said I wasn’t going to compare the two.). The Satisfyer Pro Penguin has eleven different intensity settings (compared to the Womanizer’s six settings… I know, I did it again.) and whoa-boy does it get intense. This is probably one of the few toys that even I can’t crank up to the highest level, when I tried I could hear my clit screaming “HOLY HELL WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?” in it’s tiny Donald Duck voice. I don’t know why I think my clit sounds like Donald Duck, but thats kind of always what I imagine, a high-pitched Donald Duck.
The controls are a bit on the obnoxious side. There are two buttons, one to turn the toy on/off and another to control the intensity levels. What I find obnoxious is that the button that controls the settings only circles through the speeds, you can’t go back down a level unless you crank it all the way to its highest setting first, and then instead of dropping from its highest setting to its lowest it counts down. So, it climbs up from one to eleven then it goes back down starting from eleven, then ten, nine, eight etc, until you’ve reached the bottom again. So if you are the kind of person who likes to change things up while masturbating, you are going to be spending a lot of time pushing buttons. Sounds exhausting.
I find the shape of the Pro Penguin to both be reminiscent of a cutesy penguin (which feeds into my addiction to cute things) and really comfortable to hold. Compared to the Womanizer (dammit, I did it again) the Pro Penguin is so much easier to wield, instead of having a weird ear-thermometer shape, the Pro Penguin has a curvy sort of body that nestles just right in my hand. The body is made from ABS plastic and is covered in a pink and fuchsia matte silicone.
The Satisfyer Pro Penguin charges via a magnetic USB charger and I am happy to report that the magnet is actually quite strong. I love toys that have a magnetic charger, but more often than not I seem to run into toys whose magnets disconnect at the slightest bump, not so with this toy, it takes a good tug to pull it apart.
The Pro Penguin is also waterproof and submersible, so you can take your fun to the bathtub! I haven’t tried it underwater yet, but I want to. I’m curious to see if it changes up the sensations at all. When I finally get around to bathing, I’ll let you all know what I find. Or if you beat me to it, let me know how it goes!
I’ve seen a handful of reviews that compare the sensation of the Pro Penguin to really good cunnilingus, but I’m not sure I would agree. I mean, it’s like no cunnilingus I’ve ever received, so maybe it is their idea of what really perfect cunnilingus would feel like? Or have I just been with partners who are all really bad at oral? To me, it feels more like lots of itty bitty fingers tapping my clit from all angles. Although now I feel like I need to go have emergency oral just so I can compare the two sensations. While I think people are eager to compare it to oral, I think it really does provide its own unique form of stimulation, and I think that’s pretty cool.
It does come with it’s mild annoyances though. I’ve been having problems with the silicone nozzle falling out. I’m sure it is removable for easy cleaning, but it falls out very easily. More than once I pulled the Pro Penguin away from my clit and the silicone nozzle stayed behind, like a tiny crown for my clit. The Pro Penguin comes with only one nozzle, so be mindful of that and try not to lose it.
To use the Pro Penguin, just spread your labia apart, expose your clit if necessary, and place the nozzle directly over it. Then just turn the toy on and let it do all the work. Unless you need to cycle through the settings, it is kind of a set it and forget it kind of toy. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. This type of air-pulsating technology is still relatively new and I’m sure many of you haven’t had a chance to try it out yet, so if you do decide to purchase the Pro Penguin, my best advice to you is to give it some time, take it slow, and find the spot that works for you.
When pressed against my clit, the Pro Penguin does seem fairly quiet. It isn’t completely noiseless, but I would venture to say it is pretty discreet. At its lowest intensity settings the Pro Penguin is whisper quiet, but as you bump it up you can hear it hum… it sounds like what I imagine a tiny, rodent sized helicopter would sound like while taking off. Still, it really isn’t all that loud, so don’t panic, you are likely safe behind closed doors.
The price of the Pro Penguin was a bit of a surprise to me. Knowing that my particular Womanizer cost $188.99 I was expecting the Penguin to hover in a similar range. So imagine the cartoonish jaw drop I did when I saw it listed for an extremely budget friendly $49.00! This really makes me wonder what the internal and/or quality differences are between the Womanizer and the Satisfyer. Does the Satisfyer lose something in order to achieve that lower price point or is the Womanizer just so ridiculously priced, capitalizing on being the first of its kind on the market?
So, what’s the verdict? Well, I like the Womanizer, but I LOOOOOVE the Satisfyer Pro Penguin. Granted, I’ve only used the Womanizer 100, so maybe the other models have made improvements, but at this point the Satisfyer Pro Penguin is the king of my clitorial mountain. In its eleven intensity settings I think it is quite likely to be able to please a wide variety of users, everyone from those who like it mild and gentle to the power hungry users like myself. Also, this toy makes a fantastic nipple sucker! If you are curious about testing out the air-pulsation sensation, the Satisfyer Pro Penguin is a good introduction toy.
If you are just salivating over the very idea of owning a Satisfyer Pro Penguin, you can click on over to Peepshow Toys and they will set you up with one of your very own! And remember, using the code KITTEN at checkout will net you a sweet 10% off you order!
The Satisfyer Pro Penguin was provided to me free of charge by Peepshow Toys in exchange for my honest review.