Le Wand Vibrating Massager – Sex Toy Review
Hooray! A new wand has hit the market! I was pretty darn excited when I received an email from Peepshow Toys offering me the chance to review the new Le Wand. If you have spent any time at all reading my blog, you know how much I love vibrating wands. Big wands, little wands, strong wands, ugly wands… I WANT THEM ALL. So, of course I said yes to the opportunity. Yes to all wands, ever… that’s my motto. Sure… sometimes I end up with some pretty shitty wands that way, but I like to live dangerously! Live and learn man, live and learn…
So, the Le Wand is what I imagine the Magic Wand Rechargeable would be like after it returned from a summer abroad in Paris. A little bit more pretentious then when it left, a fake accent it swears it just picked up naturally, but underneath that classy new look… it’s essentially the same vibrating wand.
Okay, so I don’t actually own the Magic Wand Rechargeable personally (tragic!), so I can’t really tell you how it compares beyond the superficial. But if you were to look at the Le Wand the the Magic Wand Rechargeable side by side, you would definitely see some major similarities. Like long lost twins, or a before and after shot in a plastic surgeons office! To be fair, there is kind of a basic formula when it comes to creating a vibrating wand… there is some kind of spherical head on top of a neck which is then attached to a body which generally contains the control buttons. So it seems rare to find a wand that is drastically distinct, but it’s like the Le Wand didn’t even try. Did the creators just take one look at the Magic Wand Rechargeable and say “Yep, do that. Only make it classier.” The bottom of the Le Wand flares out in a suspiciously similar fashion to the Magic Wand Rechargeable, the three control bottoms are place in pretty much the exact same location, the product identification is stamped in the same location, even the charging port seems identical… it seems pretty clear that Le Wand drew VERY heavily on the Magic Wand Rechargeable for inspiration when producing their own wand. But who can blame them? The Magic Wand is a massively successful vibrating wand, the granddaddy (grandmommy?) of vibrating wands if you will! But, it really is a bit of a bummer that the creators couldn’t find an ounce of their own personality and originality when creating the Le Wand.
One small thing that the Le Wand does have going for it though is that it is at least a much prettier version of the rechargeable wand, something that looks far less medical and grandma-esque. I’ve never found the Original Magic Wand or the newer rechargeable version to be particularly sexy looking… the colors look bizarrely clinical to me, so I greatly appreciate Le Wand’s attempt to at least sex it up a bit.
Lack of originality aside, the Le Wand is a pretty respectable vibrating wand but not my favorite wand. It’s not even in my top five. Don’t get me wrong, the Le Wand does have plenty of strength to it, but it is just pure buzz. Boring, clit-numbing, surface level buzz. I have to smash the Le Wand’s large, rounded head pretty firmly against my clit in order to bring myself anywhere close to orgasm, its kind of frustrating. Given how heavy the Le Wand is, I was kind of expecting it to have a deep, powerful rumble to it… sadly, nope. It is just a heavy, buzzy, wand. Come on now, if you are going to mimic the Magic Wand, go all the way… get that rumble going too! Otherwise, whats the point?
The Le Wand is pretty simple to use and operates pretty much as you would expect it to. To turn it on just press the (+) and it powers up pretty much instantly. Continue pressing the (+) will increase the intensity while pressing the (-) will decrease it. Now, according to Le Wand’s official website, the wand features “10 distinctive, rumbly vibration speeds” of which I call a great big bull shit. First off, this thing is buzzy as all get out, second I only count five intensities. I’m not sure where the other five are hiding… I have tried over and over, I definitely feel five distinct intensities… but after that I can’t sort out the last five. The Le Wand also features 20 vibration patterns, of which I do count an actual 20! To control these just press the squiggly line button in the middle. Surprisingly, I didn’t hate the patterns. The Le Wand actually did a great job with designing these patterns, they are interesting and diverse. Usually with patterns I get quickly frustrated because the pulses and bumps are spaced too far apart and I feel mostly teased and irritated instead of being brought to orgasm. But the Le Wand keeps everything nice and tight and very enjoyable, if these same patterns were found on a vibrating wand capable of being rumbly, it would be totally delicious.
There are a few things about the Le Wand that I do like… but none of those things are the wand itself. The Le Wand comes with some pretty nifty accessories, including a very fancy zip up travel bag that kind of looks like a body bag for your Le Wand and a disposable textured head cover that kind of reminds me a lot of a Tenga Egg Sleeve (coincidence or copy-cat?). The textured head was nice, but not really a game changer… again, had this wand been rumblier, I think it would have been very enjoyable. And of course it also includes the cable for charging up the Le Wand… so I suppose being rechargeable is something else the Le Wand has going for it. It takes about three hours of charge time to fully charge up the Le Wand and that translates into about three hours of play time. I think my wand pooped out at closer to the 2 hour mark, but I was running it on top speed for almost that whole time. There are other attachments that can be purchased for the Le Wand, the ‘Droplet’ disposable textured top (the ‘Spiral’ was included with my wand) and two weighed silicone attachments that look like they make the wand semi-insertable and give you the ability to create pin-point vibrations.
The Le Wand is made from body safe materials, the head of the wand is a very smooth, somewhat plush silicone while the body is made from ABS. The wand is also very heavy. I mean like… VERY heavy. I was actually kind of shocked the first time I held it, this is not going to be an easy toy for someone with any kind of wrist or joint issues to maneuver, heck… my own wrist was getting kind of cramped smashing the wand down against my clit. Once again I say, something with that much weight behind it should be rumbly! AHHHh! Can you tell how distressed I am about the missing rumble?
So, when you are feeling like you need a le orgasm, should you reach for theLe Wand? Eh, I don’t know. Personally, there are about a dozen other vibrating toys I would reach for before I’d be grabbing for the Le Wand… like, think of it this way… if my collection of vibrators were like the current presidential line of succession… imagine something happened to the President (Doxy), the Vice President would take over (Original Magic Wand), and if something were to happen to the VP the Speaker of the House would take over (Doxy Die Cast), okay… now imagine some sort of catastrophic event took place, suddenly the President, the Vice President, the Speaker of the House and the next 10 candidates for the Presidency were all wiped out. BOOM. Suddenly now we are at number twelve on the list… the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development… (which in our current administration is Ben Carson… masturbating with the Le Wand is about as bad as masturbating with Ben Carson… just saying.) At that point all the good toys are dead but I’m still really horny… so, fine… in that situation I would reach for the Le Wand, but I wouldn’t exactly be thrilled about it. Do I recommend you buy the Le Wand? Um… if you want a rechargeable wand that gives just strong, surface level buzz… sure, that’s not my jam, but someone out there must enjoy it and this wand will be the right one for them. But if you are expecting something that looks so much like the Magic Wand to work like the Magic Wand, be prepared for some major disappointment. For a wand that costs $170 I really feel like it should be leaps and bounds more amazing than it actually is. The best part about the Le Wand are its accessories… but those aren’t worth 170 bucks. So, unless you have cash to burn, skip the Le Wand and look into the Magic Wand Rechargeable or the Doxy, both options are far more rumbly and a bit easier on the wallet.
If the makers of the Le Wand listens to the criticism I (and other bloggers) have presented about the Le Wand and they decide to produce a more rumbly version I could see myself really enjoying the Le Wand. But, until then… pass me the Doxy I’ve got some serious masturbating to do.
If even after all my ranting and raving you still want to give the Le Wand Rechargeable Vibrating Wand a try, I recommend picking one up from the fabulous Peepshow Toys! Use the coupon code KITTEN and get 10% off your order! Might as well save yourself a little money, right?