Rocks-Off Purple Heart – Sex Toy Review
When ever I read that a sex toy is battery powered I always feel my heart sink down in my chest just a little bit. Battery powered often seems to be synonymous with either weak and disappointing or buzzy and disappointing. The Iroha Mini, for example, was a battery powered disappointment as was the Bodywand Mini Massager… I’ll stop here, because I feel like that list could get unreasonably long. Sure, there has been exceptions… but over all… battery powered seems to disappoint me. But when I saw the Rocks-Off Purple Heart I was drawn to it, I loved the color (I love purple!) and the unique shape was really calling out to me, saying “take me home! You need me! We all float down here!” (Did I recently watch the movie It? Maybe…) Anyway, I decided to throw caution to the wind and asked to review it. I’ve reviewed a small number of Rocks-Off toys in the past and haven’t really been all that disappointed in them (The Bamboo is actually a pretty nice little battery powered bullet vibe) so I was reasonably optimistic that I wouldn’t outright hate the Rocks-Off Purple Heart… but I was still skeptical about the whole thing.
Before I get too deep into this review, I want to mention LuvToyz. They are a totally new retailer to me, I had not yet run across them prior to their contacting me for this review. Cruising through their site, it looks like they carry a mix of totally awesome, body-safe toys along side the dreaded toxic jelly toys of doom. So, should you decide to shop with LuvToyz (and I don’t see why not, shipping was fast, discreet, and the product was clean) just be aware of the product descriptions and read the materials carefully, make sure you are picking out a body-safe toy (silicone and abs plastic, for example, are a couple of safe options).
Okay, back to the Rocks-Off Purple Heart… the shape of this toy is just so incredibly unique but still incredibly simple. It’s basically just a heart on a stick… but man, does it looks nice. It gives me Alice in Wonderland vibes, like, I’m pretty sure this is the vibrator that the Queen of Hearts would use (once it was painted red, of course) after a long day of screaming “off with their head!” When I showed it to my Stunt Cock, he said it looked like a shovel. So… I guess what it resembles depends on your particular sense of whimsy. The silicone “heart” is made of a seamless matte silicone (which picks up lint like it’s going out of style) that is pretty silky to the touch while the body/handle of the toy is made from ABS plastic.
As I said above, the Rocks-Off Purple Heart is battery powered and requires four AAA batteries. A set of four batteries were included already inside of my toy, which was super awesome, because if I were to have to try to find AAA batteries in my house… well… this review would take twice as long to happen. I never know where batteries are, even when I buy batteries, I feel like I somehow manage to misplace them before ever getting to use them. So, having them included is awesome, I am incredibly impatient I like being able to get down to business (to defeat the Huns) the moment a toy arrives at my doorstep. Opening the little battery compartment was a bit confusing for me, after a frustrating five minutes of trying to twist the bottom cap off I gave up and scoured other bloggers reviews for how to open this damn thing. Turns out you don’t twist the bottom. So, if you have found yourself googling “how to insert batteries in the Rocks-Off Purple Heart sex toy” let me help you out here…Step one: hold the toy with the heart side facing into your body, the point of the heart should be pointing down towards the floor. Step two: put your thumb on the gold cap right over the raised Rocks-Off heart logo. Step three: push your thumb against the cap until it pops open. This might sound confusing, but its actually really easy once you sort it out. Also, before I forget… it bears mentioning that around the base of the removable gold cap is a little purple ‘rubber band’ that needs to remain right where it is. This is what seals the toy, making it waterproof… lose that and you can no longer use this toy around water. I mention this because when I popped my cap off the band started to slide loose.
Operating the Rocks-Off is pretty straight forward. On the handle of the toy is a little thumb sized patch of silicone containing the Purple Heart’s two buttons. The top button (the one closes to the head of the toy) is the on/off button (and is labeled as such, handy). To turn the toy on simply press down on the button and the toy pretty much springs to life instantly. Press that same button again to turn the toy off. The second button (the one just below the power button) operates the Purple Hearts various vibration settings. The Purple Heart boasts 10 speeds… which breaks down into 3 continuous speeds and 7 patterns. The first two constant speeds were by far the most rumbly, its top speed, while surprisingly powerful for a battery powered toy, definitely has some serious buzz to it. The patterns are nothing to write home about (“Dear grandma… today I discovered the most wonderful pattern of vibration pulsations…”) and are pretty much more or less what you would expect from a series of vibration patterns (yawn). But the three continuous speeds are more than enough to keep me satisfied.
Sadly, no toy is perfect. The Rocks-Off Purple Heart is a one loud son of a gun. Once you turn the Purple Heart on, there is absolutely nothing discreet about it! While this isn’t necessarily an issue for me, (I live alone with my Stunt Cock and he is more surprised if he hears vibrations coming from my room and discovers that I’m not using a sex toy) I know it can be for other users. I tried to muffle the sound underneath my blankets… it took a lot of blankets before the sound dissipated… and no one wants to masturbate under approximately 144 blankets. So… if noise is a factor for you, maybe looks into something quieter… like the We-Vibe Tango (a bullet that is both quiet and mighty!).
In use the Purple Heart genuinely surprised me. I was really expecting it to fall into the category of toys-I-find-incredibly-cute-but-are-too-weak-to-do-anything-for-me (a category the Zalo Baby Heart is currently the top dog). Surprisingly though, it managed to wow me… maybe not so much in a “HOLY FUCKITY FUCKING COW MAN” but in more of a “huh, this is actually really pretty nice and I am definitely going to come now” sort of way. For a battery powered toy it has got a little bit of oomph to it, I really had no issues reaching an orgasm with any of the speeds (however, I prefer the rumblier bottom two). I am also a big fan of the toys design, it was so incredibly easy and comfortable to hold and to position right where I needed it. The shape of the head is awesome as it allows me to easily alternate between using the hearts tip for pin-point stimulation or the body of the heart for more broad stimulation. I love a toy that is versatile! Also, I’ve found myself resting the Purple Heart in the crook of my neck to relieve a little bit of that I’ve-been-hunched-over-a-computer-too-long tension that builds up in my neck and shoulders… this actually works out really well. So… if you aren’t in the market for a sex toy but want a small, portable, neck massager… here you go!
Overall, I think that the Rocks-Off Purple Heart is a pretty solid toy and a great choice if you are looking for a battery powered option (which I think is ideal for traveling, as you don’t have to worry about lugging charging cables around and looking for an outlet). I am absolutely in love with the design of this toy, everything from it’s beautiful purple color to its heart on a stick design… it seems very sweet and almost innocent… something that I think would be right at home with a little Lolita or romantic femme. It is also surprisingly powerful for a battery powered toy, although definitely not overwhelming… I would say its perfect for anyone who likes mid-level, rumbly vibrations. I honestly have no qualms about recommending the Rocks-Off Purple Heart, it is a lovely toy!
The Rocks-Off Purple Heart was provided to me free of charge by LuvToyz in exchange for my honest review.