If you are here you are either looking for more information on sex toys or you have taken a hilariously wrong turn while searching for cute cat pictures. Either way, I’m glad you’re here.
Nietzsche once said “If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.”
Without a doubt, the abyss is my vagina. My selfish, judgmental vagina, staring back at me, questioning my life choices. It is never satisfied. A glutton for the newest, the best, and the biggest toys. In my never ending quest to satiate the beast, I bring you the fruits of my masturbatory labors. Artisinal sex toy reviews, hand crafted by yours truly. I am on a quest to answer the ultimate question: “Can I put that in my vagina?”
I began writing in the Adult-sphere sometime in 2013, inspired by my complete and utter hatred for all things 50 Shades of Grey. I knew there had to be something better out there. Which is when I was introduced to Rachel Kramer Bussel and 24 hours later I found myself writing for one of her erotic anthologies, fueled completely on hate, tears, and chocolate, my first erotic short was born – Writer’s Block, found in The Big Book of Submission. After that, I was hooked and I have been writing erotic stories ever since. My work has been included in anthologies, published around the web, and recorded in audio book format.
I was doing my part to save people from bad erotica.
Shortly thereafter I attended one of my first Internext and AVN shows and quickly learned that one of the hazards of knowing how to spell, is occasionally you’ll find yourself in a situation where a man in a snazzy tweed jacket is suddenly handing you an Njoy Pure Wand with the request that you review it. And oddly, you find yourself agreeing and then taking photos of it while you wait for tacos to arrive, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. This is when I truly realized I’m a pervert. A pervert with a vagina that wasn’t pulling its own weight. So, inspired by the Pure Wand, my vagina and I became business partners.
Our founding principle was to fill the hungry holes of our readers with quality, body safe, Kitten approved, sex toys. So, here you will find reviews of the luxury, the classy, and the little off-beat… I’m willing to try almost anything at least once.
Also, I write porn. You know that part when the pizza delivery boy shows up at the door and says “Hey, who ordered the meat?” Someone has to write that script and one of those someone’s is me. I have written for the likes of Sssh.com, Digital Sin, New Sensations and Wicked Pictures.
When I’m not masturbating and writing I enjoy reading about other people masturbating. I also enjoy burlesque dancing, pole dancing, belly dancing… all of which I am mediocre at. I have a love of pinups, Doctor Who, vintage Pyrex, video games, the European aristocracy, and cats on the internet.
Now, go enjoy everything KittenBoheme.com has to offer!
P.S. My vagina says “hey.”